Jokester

When my sister Jenn was little, she used to say she wanted to be a "jokester". She had a wicked sense of humor back then, and this was her young way of finding a name for "comedian".

Ethan is following in her footsteps; although, being a two year old boy, his brand of humor reflects this. "Ma-ohm", he'll call out. When I give him my attention, he gives me a wicked grin. "W-w-whoa, whoa, woooooe", he'll chant as he stands on one leg and wiggles from side to side, ultimately landing as a sprawled out heap of Ethan on the floor. His jaw-splitting grin reveals his satisfaction in his performance. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! HaH!!" he calls out. "Ma-ohm, I'hm fuhn-neee".

Ice Skating

So I FINALLY got to take Leah ice skating yesterday afternoon. For the very first time! It's been something that I've been wanting to share with her for several years now.

After I had Mono in the eight grade, and had that develop into Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, some physical activity was in order, particularly something that would strengthen my legs again. So my sisters, my cousins, and I all started taking ice skating lessons. I really enjoyed these, and kept taking them until the point where private lessons would have been required. Those were outside our means, so the lessons stopped. I still really enjoy skating, although until yesterday, I hadn't done it in years.

So when Leah was about two, I started to look forward to when I could take her ice skating. There was one hurdle to all of this: Leah's teeny, tiny feet, and the general lack of ice skates to fit teeny, tiny feet. When her feet were finally large enough (all of a whopping size Toddler 7!) she was 5 years old, and I was pregnant with little miss Rei. So no ice skating then! Leah's feet are now about a 9 1/2, and the rink is opened from it's summer recess, so, we laced up and went!

It has helped tremendously that Leah's best buddy Sam is taking lessons. She wants to do what her peers are doing, so, despite falling straight backwards a few times, she kept getting up. She's now decided that she wants to be a world-famous ice skater, and that practice will make perfect. We'll go again next week and see if she musters up the same courage consistently. I was really proud of how she kept trying, and how she did really well with listening to me in regards to getting her little feets to move in a circular fashion. She never really did anything on her own--the rink has these little "walkers" and when she wasn't using that, she was using me, but, she came a very long way in the short 45 minutes we spent on the ice.

I also discovered how rusty I am at skating, and might see if I can convince Shayne into some baby holding for an hour or two during the daytime to see if I can get a free skate or two in, in order to get my wits about me again!

Boredom

So, it was, of course, nothing. Just a stomach bug. Not even a sinus infection. Stupid, nagging, childhood traumas.

I keep joking with Alex that we should get a winnie and pull a "Riches". I've been feeling pretty nomadic lately, but maybe that's just cause I have no idea where I'm heading now.

Sean

Early in elementary school, it's hard to say when exactly, a classmate passed away. More so, a friend's little brother passed away. We all watched our friend everyday as he came to school, looking like death, as his little brother kept our friend awake all night long. The little brother was sick and spent most of his time screaming because his head hurt him so badly. Horrid, horrid headaches that left the little boy screaming all night long.

Then, one day our friend didn't come to school. A few days later, he returned. He said that his brother had died. He wept and wept on the bus, saying how the night he had died all that he wanted was for his brother to stop screaming. He only wanted some sleep. And finally, his brother did stop screaming. In the morning, he got off his top bunk, only to find that his brother was blue. His brother stopped screaming because his brother had died. It was a brain aneurysm. My friend cried and cried; we all understood what he was saying--he felt guilty, as though if he hadn't wished for his brother to stop screaming that he wouldn't have died. As kids, there was no way to understand that our will didn't cause things like that. We all still believed in Santa and the Tooth Fairie and the Easter Bunny.

That event still haunts the far reaches of my mind. Despite the medical training I've had, despite now understanding the statistical improbability of an event like that happening to a child, it still scares the shit out of me.

Leah's been having headaches and vomiting. These are probably just a reaction to a sinus infection and her being too young to understand how to deal with vertigo (as I have learned to do over the years because every time I have fluid in my head, this is what I experience).

But I'd be lying if I said some part of me isn't still a scared kid every time this happens.

(On a side note, all three persons that I knew that are buried at OTC are practically neighbors. Efficient visiting, but harrowing. Two of them were children.)

Pop and Circumstance

I think I've figured out why this surprise pregnancy has sent me reeling so much more than the first surprise pregnancy had. Well, one large part of many reasons, any way.

See, when I was 19 and found myself with a baby on the way, I planned that by my ten year High School reunion I'd be in the same place as everyone else: completed college, married, homeowner, with a family. But I'd just done in in reverse of everyone else.

But with popping and adding Rei to our family, and current circumstances being what they are, I am not going to finish a Bachelor's before the tenner. I won't even have an Associates. Academically speaking, I'll have a whole lotta nothing to show off.

And maybe I just sound like a pretentious brat here, but really, when one looks though MySpace and Facebook and sees all the other kids that she was tracked with, academically, in school since day one having completed educations at the Ivies and other top Universities, really, it's hard not to feel the blow to the ego. And now, not only did I not get on track back in the day with getting into a proper college, but now I don't have ANY degree to show. And I won't, for a long while, if ever.

But this is all failing forward, right?

Kicked to the Curb!

That's where my immune system must be. Seems as though I've lost it. Bugger.

So, yeah. That's making my return from childbirth a little--okay, a lot--more complicated. Besides being run down from the general stuffs associated with childbirth and caring for a newborn, I've been run down because I am sick. First an infection, which I took antibiotics for. Then, a cold/flu thing. Viral, at any rate. Now some congestion has settled in my chest, so I'm thinking it's gonna be another few days before that becomes bronchitis or something of that nature. For those of you that have experienced it, my signature honking goose cough is back. Yippee.

So, to prevent new sicknesses from setting in, I'm giving the DanActive yoghurt-ish drinks a try. If I'm really good, I'll make my way over to a crunchy store and get some digestive enzymes and cut all the dairy from my diet period. But that's a little ambitious yet. Maybe that should be goal for the week. Haha.

I've got to get that book by Hale, regarding Meds. and breastfeeding. Hopefully it goes over herbal stuffs too. And, I need to look into physicians that are not just into traditional medicine. And it'd be nice to get back to the chiropractor. Oh, how relaxing THAT will be with Ethan and Rei in tow. It's nice that Alex has his weekends back with having a normal job, but I no longer know how I'm ever going to make it to any professional appointment for myself now that I don't have someone who is guaranteed to be around for childcare during the weekdays. Meh.

smiles

Rei smiles all the time in her sleep. And that is why I've trudged through this all. Sweet sleepy smiles.